The Brimstone Wedding by Barbara Vine

Author:Barbara Vine
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780141927985
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Published: 2009-03-10T04:00:00+00:00

I walked Stella back to her room. It might have been easier to have carried her. I'm sure I could, she's so light. She sat in her chair and put her feet up on a stool.

‘I was so happy at that time, Genevieve.’ Her voice was soft and rather sleepy. ‘For the first time in my life everything was going right for me. I'd been in love with Alan for four years but I seemed to fall in love with him again. This time it was deeper, it was more intense. I was forty, and it wasn't like it is nowadays, forty was middle-aged. But Alan made me feel young. I'd never had any real pleasure – I don't quite know how to say this…’

‘From sex, d'you mean?’

‘Yes, from sex.’ Stella closed her eyes. She didn't want to meet my eyes. ‘I'd never had pleasure with Rex and I couldn't even imagine what it would be like. I mean, if you don't like doing something you can't imagine doing the same thing but liking it, can you?’

‘Like ironing with the latest thing in steam irons,’ I said. I hate ironing.

She smiled a feeble smile. ‘So you could say, why did I ever want to – to make love with Alan if I didn't like love-making? I don't know the answer to that, Genevieve. But I'm sure I'm not the first woman who didn't have any pleasure but thought she could have if she was with someone she really loved. And the first time – the first time with Alan – well, it was quite different.’ She looked at me. ‘I'm sorry, it's rather embarrassing talking about these things. I was just trying to make you see that I loved him, I loved him in every possible way. And when we had the house to go to, it was wonderful. It was romantic.

‘I would go over there in the late afternoon. Maret was at home with the children. As for Rex, he and I were leading quite separate lives by then. He never asked where I was if I wasn't at home and I knew where he was so I didn't have to ask. He probably knew about Alan, or he knew there was someone, but he didn't care any more.

‘I was proud of my house. It was mine, you see. You saw the deeds, in my name. That meant a great deal to me. I had such fun furnishing it. Alan and I had very little money but you could find amazing bargains in the antique shops and at sales in those days. He had the originals of the drawings he'd done for his children's books and we had them framed and put up on the walls. I always kept the house full of flowers. I cleaned it myself, I had to. It was the only place I'd ever enjoyed cleaning.

‘Waiting for Alan I'd dress up. I'd put on a beautiful dress and jewellery and do my hair carefully. I'd take an hour doing my face and my nails.

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